All's Fair in Love and War
by Red Witch
Summary: Lance and Peter decide to duel for Kitty's heart. The problem is she can't choose between the two of them! R&R the complete fic to see what insanity ensues!
1. The Duel Begins

**I keep telling you people that I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters or GI Joe characters. I've been telling you this for how many fics now? Well here comes another one. This time I thought I'd play around with the Kitty-Lance-Peter love triangle. Will it ever get resolved? Don't get your hopes up! **

**All's Fair in Love and War**

Chapter 1: The Duel Begins

"Why Lance bang head?" Claudius asked Todd. 

"Trust me kid," Todd sighed. "You're better off not knowing. At least until you get older." 

Lance was currently pounding his head against the wall. "I can't stand it! I can't stand it!"

"What's wrong with him?" Shipwreck walked in. 

"He can't stand it," Todd remarked. 

"It's Kitty," Lance stopped and groaned. "I just found out she went on a date with Colossus last night!"

"Lance they went to the Dairy Queen," Todd told him. "With all the other X-Geeks. Hardly a romantic evening to worry about."

"But they were together and I didn't know about it!" Lance moaned. "How much you wanna bet those losers set it up so they'd have some alone time?"

"How did you find out?" Shipwreck asked. 

"Simple," Althea walked in the room. "Jamie told my sisters, my sisters told me and I told Lance."

"Oh," Shipwreck nodded. "Now what's the story here? I thought the two of you were exclusive or something?"

"Not exactly," Lance sat down dejectedly in a seat. "She says she's not really sure and she's too young to be tied down right now."

"And you fell for that?" Althea looked at him.

"In other words Kitty is stringing the both of them along," Todd said as he put Claudius in his playpen. "She's got a real good case of Jean-itis!" 

"It's hopeless," Lance groaned. "If I issue an ultimatum I'll lose her! And if I sit back and do nothing I'll lose her!"

"And that's a bad thing?" Todd asked.

"Listen kid," Shipwreck said. "I'm gonna give you some advice, nobody got the girl by backing down and running away! You want Kitty? Then you gotta lick the other guy where he licked you, it her arms!" 

"But how?" Lance asked. 

"By doing whatever it takes to show her that you're the man for her," Shipwreck said. "Got it?"

"Whatever it takes?" Lance looked at him.

"Whatever it takes," Shipwreck nodded. 

"I don't like the sound of this," Todd gulped. 

"You're right!" Lance stood up with a determined look in his eyes. "I can't back down! I have to win Kitty's love no matter what!"

"That's the spirit kid!" Shipwreck slapped him on his back. "And with my help that girl will fall for you like a ton of bricks!"

"The only bricks around here are in your head!" Althea snapped. "Pop you can't even get yourself a girl! Now you're gonna advice Lance of all people? You gotta be kidding me!" 

"No Shipwreck's right!" Lance said. "It's time I put an end to this game once and for all! All my life I've had to fight while everyone else had it easy! When everyone else had loving parents and a good home, I had to survive the worst people in the world in slums! But I'm through! I'm not gonna let the best thing in my life go without a fight!" 

"Lance I don't like that look in your eyes," Todd gulped. "Whenever you look like that trouble happens." 

"Oh there's gonna be trouble all right!" Lance said. "Trouble for a certain metal moron! Look out Colossus! Here I come!" He ran upstairs past Roadblock and Fred.

"Dad what did you do that for?" Althea asked. 

"What is going on?" Roadblock asked. 

"Why is Lance looking even more deranged than usual?" Fred asked. 

"Lance has just taken relationship advice from my father," Althea sighed. "Is it just me or is there a feeling of doom in the air?"

"Oh yeah," Roadblock sighed. "That's just not any feeling of gloom, that's doom!" 

"We're all headed for trouble aren't we?" Todd sighed.

"That we are good buddy," Fred shook his head. "That we are." 

************************************************************************

Later that day at the X-Mansion…

"I can't stand it!" Peter moaned as he paced back and forth. He changed into his armored form and punched the wall. "I can't stand it!"

"Hey take it easy on the wall there," Remy put a hand on his shoulder. 

"Sorry," Peter changed back. "I'm a little upset."

"I kind of figured that," Remy smirked. "Wanna talk about it?"

"It's Kitty," Peter moaned as he sat down in a chair.

"What about Kitty?" Remy asked. "Didn't you two have a good time last night?"

"Da," Colossus nodded. "However not twenty minutes ago Kitty gets this love letter via e-mail from Avalanche!" 

"Oh," Remy nodded. "I see your problem."

"Why is it every time I think I have finally won her heart that…that…reckless rock head ruins everything?" Peter burst out, exasperated. "I don't know what to do!" 

"Look Colossus," Remy said. "You want Kitty for yourself? Right?" Peter nodded. "Well then you gotta find a way to prove to her that you're the man for her once and for all." 

"But how do I do that?"

"You woo her homme," Remy grinned. 

"Woo? What is woo?"

"You court her," Remy explained. "Win her heart! Do whatever it takes to get the girl! And no matter what don't give up! Be persistent! It worked for me." 

"What worked for you?" Rogue asked as she and Amara entered the room.

"You really think I can win?" Peter asked. 

"Trust me," Remy grinned. "Just do what I say and Kitty will be yours." 

"What kind of baloney are you feeding him?" Rogue asked.

"It's time that Peter stood up and acted like a man!" Remy said. "It's way past time that he settle this thing with Avalanche once and for all!" 

"I will do it!" Peter stood up. "I will win Kitty's heart no matter what it takes!" 

"Remy what have you done?" Rogue asked.

"All my life I have felt an empty void," Peter made a fist. "But starting today that void will be filled! I will win Kitty's heart or die trying!"

"I don't think you should go that far," Amara grimaced. 

"CHARGE!" Peter ran off to his room. 

"Remy I just got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach," Rogue said.

"Don't worry chere," Remy smiled. "Gambit knows what he's doing."

"I doubt it," Rogue rolled her eyes. 

"It's gonna be another one of those long weeks isn't it?" Amara groaned. 

**Next: The battle for Kitty's heart begins! Again…**


	2. Say it With Flowers

**Say it With Flowers**

The next day Kitty woke up to find a bouquet of flowers outside her door. "Let me guess, they're from Lance?" Rogue walked up to her.

"No according to the card they're from Peter," Kitty smiled and sniffed them. "That is so totally sweet."

"You mean you got more flowers from Colossus?" Tabitha walked up to them.

"More?" Kitty asked.

"Girl you'd better come downstairs," Tabitha sighed. "Are you in for a surprise."

Kitty and Rogue followed her. "Oh my!" Kitty blinked. The entire foyer was covered with flowers. As well as the library and the living room. "All of these are for me?"

"Yes," Peter appeared with a single rose. "All for you Kitty." He gave her the rose and kissed her hand. 

"Oh wow!" Kitty blinked and hugged him. "Thank you Peter!"

"Yeah thanks a lot!" Jean sniffed. "ACHOOO!" She and several other X-Men were standing there. And they weren't very happy. 

"Yeah thanks for giving us all hay fever," Bobby grumbled. "Achooo!" He sneezed and accidentally froze some of the flowers with his breath. "I didn't know I could do that!" 

"Colossus I think you kind of went a little overboard," Ororo looked at all the flowers. 

"You **_think_**?" Amara sniffled. "ACHOOO!" 

"Where did you get all these flowers?" Rogue asked. "Oh man now I'm starting to get stuffed up!"

"I picked every wild flower I could find and spent all my money on bouquets," Peter scratched his head. 

"I think you must have picked some poison ivy dude!" Ray grumbled as he scratched his arms. "Something is giving me hives!" 

"And giving the rest of us a serious case of hay fever," Scott muttered. 

"Hey what's wrong with Lockheed?" Tabitha pointed. Kitty's dragon was stumbling around humming a strange tune.

"I saw it eating some carnations earlier," Bobby sniffed. 

"Oh no!" Kitty ran over and picked up Lockheed. "Lockheed are you okay? Are you sick?"

"Hic!" Lockheed hiccuped. 

"Oh we gotta get him to Mr. McCoy!" Kitty cried out.

"I've already examined him," Hank wobbled in, his fur slightly singed. "He's not sick. He's slightly inebriated. Apparently carnations are the dragon equivalent of catnip." 

Kitty glared at Peter. "Oh give me a break! How was I supposed to know that?" Peter defended. 

"It should wear off eventually," Hank sighed as bits of his fur fell off. "And hopefully my fur should grow back." 

"What the heck is all this?" Lance materialized in the room. He was holding something in his hand that was covered in a cloth. 

"It's a present from Peter to Kitty," Tabitha folded her arms and smirked. 

"Yeah but it kind of backfired," Ray grumbled still scratching his arms. "Oh man I think it's spreading!" 

"Hey it's the thought that counts!" Remy defended. "It seems you are outclassed Rocktumbler." 

"Oh yeah?" Lance glared. "Any idiot can simply give flowers that will wilt and die! Oh wait, any idiot did!" 

"So what do you have that's so much better?" Peter growled.

"Here," Lance put down the small object. "Go ahead, Kitty." 

Kitty pulled off the cover to reveal a strange but beautiful plant with a multi colored flower on top. "Oh look, just what we need," Bobby said sarcastically. "Another flower."

"It's not just any flower!" Lance huffed. "It's a very rare plant. I figure you can plant it in your garden."

"Well that was really nice of you," Kitty smiled. "Thank you Lance." She kissed him on the cheek. 

"Where did someone like you get a plant like that?" Peter snapped. "He probably stole it!"

"Peter!" Kitty snapped.

"I did not!" Lance told him. "I kind of found it. Trinity took a little trip to the rainforest using the Mass Device and uh…"

"Oh I get it," Peter folded his arms. "You swiped a plant from its natural environment."

"Oh and you didn't?" Lance pointed around. "Where did all of these come from?" 

"Hey guys anybody wanna play ball?" Jamie walked in with a baseball bat.

"Not now Jamie," Remy warned him off. "You can't use the triplets to steal flowers for you to give Kitty!"

"Why not?" Jamie asked. "You helped Peter by swiping some of these flowers from the park." 

"Jamie don't help!" Remy groaned. 

"I was only…" Jamie started to say. "HEY! MY BAT!" The plant's flower had opened up and taken a huge chunk out of the bat. 

"Did that plant just…eat Jamie's bat?" Amara gulped. 

The plant suddenly popped out its roots out of its pot. It started to grow rapidly as it started to gnaw on the table it was on. "What kind of stupid plant is this?" Scott yelled.

"I don't know!" Lance yelped, as it grew even bigger.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Rogue snapped. "You gave Kitty a rare plant without knowing what it is?" She blanched as it started eating another table. "Or what it does?" 

"I think we'd better save the recriminations for later," Hank gulped as it grew even bigger. 

"I got it," Scott readied it's visor. 

"No!" Ororo said, stopping him. "We can't take the chance of destroying it until we know exactly what kind of plant it is! For all we know if you blow it up it might release some dangerous spores or something."

"I know who'd know!" Lance said. "Airtight! He knows a lot of weird stuff! He even knows about rare plants and stuff!"

"Can you get him here?" Jean asked.

"Yeah no problem! Hang on," He grabbed Kitty's hand and they teleported back to the Pit.

"HE TOOK KITTY!" Peter snapped.

"Forget her Colossus we got even bigger problems!" Rogue snapped, as the plant grew bigger. "It's starting to eat another table!" 

"I think we'd better concentrate our efforts on containing it," Hank remarked. "Iceman! Can you freeze the perimeter of the room so it's doesn't escape?" 

"On it!" Bobby did so. "Well at least it can't get out."

"No but it's still trashing the inside of the room!" Tabitha said.

Lance materialized with Kitty and Airtight. "What's going on here?" Airtight asked.

"Sorry about this Airtight but we like really need your help," Kitty pointed.

"Oh my goodness!" Airtight blinked. "That's a Giant Amazon Rosewood Tercher! I've never seen one that big!"

"Well it was a lot smaller before it ate my baseball bat," Jamie grumbled.

"Is that thing dangerous?" Scott asked. 

"Well it doesn't eat people if that's what you're asking," Airtight told them. "However it does have an unusual diet. It seems to exist on nearly an entire diet of branches and broken tree limbs."

"In other words it eats wood!" Tabitha groaned. "Way to go Rocky!" 

Lance blanched as the plant tore into a nearby chair. "Maybe I should have researched this further?" 

"No really?" Peter asked sarcastically. 

"Great! Lance's gift is eating the furniture while Peter's flowers have given half the Institute hay fever!" Rogue sniffed. "AHCHOOO!" 

"Fascinating," Airtight grinned. "Don't worry, it's mostly harmless." 

"**_Mostly_** harmless?" Scott asked. 

"So it destroys a room or two," Airtight waved. "Cyclops do me a favor and blast that thing will you?"

"Okay!" Scott did so. The plant broke apart in several pieces. 

"I can't believe you just wantonly destroyed a rare plant like that!" Ororo gasped. 

"No way," Airtight pointed. "All we did was create more. It's an amazing plant! It reproduces itself when it's broken apart!" He pointed to the now numerous plants. "Wonderful! Now I have plenty for my lab!"

"You mean instead of destroying one big plant we created a bunch of little plants?" Scott yelped.

"A lot of little hungry plants!" Airtight pointed to the plants devouring more furniture. "Aren't they cute?" 

"So much for him helping the situation," Scott grumbled.

"Peter, Lance," Kitty growled. "No more flowers!" 


	3. Moonlight Serenades and Aftershocks

**Moonlight Serenades and Aftershocks**

"I can't believe it took us all day to clean up that mess!" Kitty groaned as the girls trudged upstairs to their rooms.

"Well blame your stupid boyfriends for that!" Rogue snapped. 

"Come on Rogue there was like no way they could have known something like that would have happened!" Kitty defended the boys.

"Kitty as far as those two yahoos are concerned, everything they do is a disaster!" Rogue told her. 

"I hate to admit it but I gotta agree with the Roguester on this one," Tabitha said. 

"Let's just go to bed," Jean yawned. "We all have an early Danger Room session tomorrow."

"Whoopee," Rogue twirled her finger in the air. 

Soon Kitty was in bed. She was about to go to sleep when she heard a rapping on her window. "What the?" She got up and opened the shades. "LANCE!" 

Lance waved to her. He was on top of a tree next to her window and had a guitar with him. "Hey Kitty!" 

"Lance what are you doing here now?" Kitty moaned.

"I just wanted to say how sorry I was for the mess," Lance apologized. "I want to make it up to you."

"Lance as much as I appreciate that…" Kitty began.

"Please?" Lance begged.

"Oh all right," Kitty sighed. "How did you get up here?" 

Lance gave her a wry look as he pointed to a stepladder. "Oh," Kitty said.

"Look Kitty I'm really sorry things got so out of hand," Lance said. "I just wanted to show you how special you were to me."

"Well it was a nice thought, despite the fact that your gift like totaled the living room," Kitty said.

"Yeah well this time I'm not gonna go overboard," Lance shifted his position where he sat in the tree. He started to strum his guitar. He played a melody for her. 

"Funny in all this time I never heard you play the guitar," Kitty sat next to her window. "You're pretty good." 

"Thanks," Lance grinned.

"Not to mention this is the one time you serenaded me that you didn't wake everyone else up," Kitty grinned. 

"Yeah well I figure this time I'll let everyone else off the hook," Lance grinned. "This is just for you. Just a quiet moment between the two of us."

That's when a huge spotlight shone on them. "What the…?" Kitty yelled blocking her eyes with her forearm. 

"What's with the light show?" Lance snapped. When his eyes adjusted to the light he could see a mini stage beneath them. "Oh no…"

"Ladies and gentlemen…" Remy's voice could be heard. "Introducing the King of Hearts!" 

Peter appeared on the stage dressed up in a white rhinestone studded jumpsuit. He had an Elvis like wig on and a microphone. "Thank you…thank you very much!" He spoke with an attempted Southern accent. In the background Remy turned on a boom box. 

"Now I've seen everything," Kitty blinked as the music came on. "A mutant Elvis impersonator." 

"Okay this is definitely one of the weirdest things I have ever seen," Lance said. "And this is from a guy who lives with Toad!" 

_"Baby let me be your lovin' teddy bear!" _Peter crooned as he did his Elvis impersonation. _"Put a chain around my neck and lead me everywhere! Oh let me be, your teddy bear!" _

"This is not happening," Kitty stared in shock at the sight. 

"Okay you can't say I went overboard on this one!" Lance told her. 

"WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?" Rogue stormed into Kitty's room. She saw Lance. "Why did I even bother to ask? Lance knock it off before…"

"It's not me this time!" Lance snapped at her as he pointed to Peter outside.

"Sorry. My mistake," Rogue sighed. She stuck her head out the window. "PETER WILL YOU KNOCK IT OFF BEFORE I STUFF THAT MICROPHONE DOWN YOUR THROAT! SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP AROUND HERE!" 

"Why don't you yell a little louder Rogue?" Kitty snapped. "Maybe you can wake up the whole mansion?" 

"The King of Dorks is already doing that!" Lance snapped. "HEY! KNOCK IT OFF!" Suddenly he lost his balance. "Whoa!" He fell out of the tree.

"LANCE!" Kitty yelled. 

"It's okay!" Lance called out. "I fell on something soft."

"Yeah Gambit's head," Remy moaned underneath him. 

"What's going on out here?" Jean shouted as she opened her window. "What the…?"

"Somebody please tell me that this is a dream created by those twelve candy bars I just ate," Kurt grumbled as he teleported outside.

By now Lance had made his way to the stage and shut off the boom box. "HEY!" Peter snapped. 

"Listen pal, I came up with the idea to serenade Kitty long before you did!" Lance snapped. "Now buzz off!" 

"You buzz off!" Peter snapped. 

"Elvis…leave the stage!" Lance used his powers to knock him backwards. 

"THAT'S IT YOU HOUND DOG!" Peter roared. He got up and tackled Lance.

"Oh man that's even lamer than Lance's stupid rock puns," Bobby groaned. By now all the X-Men were either looking out of a window or outside. 

"Well if the entire mansion wasn't awake before they are now!" Kitty groaned as she watched the two boys duke it out on the front lawn. The ground shook again, noting Lance was using his powers "Not to mention the entire town!" 

The X-Men adults were looking out at the scene on the ground floor window. "Wonderful!" Logan snapped. "They're at it again!" 

"And of course now Scott is getting involved in the fight. This is starting to get more than predictable," Hank groaned as he watched the scene outside. He winced as one of Scott's optic blasts blasted something. "Not to mention expensive." 

"Okay why is Colossus dressed up like Elvis?" Ororo asked. 

"I have no idea," Xavier replied in a dazed voice. 

"Well at least things can not get any worse," Hank sighed.

"OH STORM BABY!" A very familiar voice rang out.

"Oh goddess no…" Ororo groaned as she put her head in her hands. "Not this…" 

_"OH STORM—EEEEE!" _Shipwreck sang on the microphone. "_OH STORMY! BRING BACK THOSE SUNNY DAYS!" _

"You had to open your big mouth didn't ya Hank?" Logan grumbled. 

"Well at least we know he didn't come unsupervised," Hank shrugged. 

"Not to mention alone," Xavier sighed as they watched Scott being whisked away by one of Pietro's infamous tornadoes. "I don't sense any of the other Misfits out there fortunately." 

"Is somebody gonna go out there and do something about this?" Logan growled. 

"_HELLO MY BABY HELLO MY HONEY! HELLO MY STORMY GAL!" _Shipwreck sang while the boys were fighting. _"SEND ME A KISS BY WIRE! BABY MY HEART'S ON FIRE!" _

"Come on Logan we'd better stop the boys," Hank sighed.

"Actually I was talking about Shipwreck's singing," Logan grumbled.

"Leave that to me!" Ororo growled as she stormed outside. A roll of thunder could be heard.

"Oh dear," Hank gulped. "This will not end well." 

"Maybe we should stay in here," Logan was reconsidering his plan of attack.

"YEOWWWWW! HEY WHAT'S THE PROBLEM HERE?" Shipwreck screamed. "I'M TRYING TO BE ROMANTIC AND STUFF! NO LIGHTNING! NO LIGHTNING!" 

"STORM WATCH IT WITH THE LIGHTNING ALREADY!" Scott shouted. "YOU NEARLY FRIED US!" 

"I think that might be the idea!" Lance yelped. "YEOOOWWW!" 

"MY COSTUME!" Peter yelled.

"YEOW THAT HURTS LADY!" Pietro shouted.

"TELL ME ABOUT IT!" Shipwreck snapped. 

"ROGUE HELP GAMBIT!" Remy screamed.

"Help yourself you moron!" Rogue shouted. "Thanks a lot Kitty!" 

"Me! This isn't my fault!" Kitty snapped.

"Yeah right!" Tabitha snapped.

"You wanna make something out of it?" Kitty snapped. Soon the shouts of the girls arguing could be heard over the guy's screams. 

"Oh I can't wait until tomorrow's Danger Room session," Logan growled. 

"I can't wait to see how they top this," Hank sighed.

"And I can't wait until their teenage years are over," Xavier put his head in his hands. 

"If we survive that long," Hank rolled his eyes upwards when he heard something break upstairs. 


	4. Annoyance, the Gift That Keeps on Giving

**Annoyance, The Gift that Keeps on Giving**

"Man what a night," Kurt yawned as the X-Men made their way to the Danger Room the next morning. "I don't think I got a wink of sleep!" 

"I don't think anyone in the neighborhood got a wink of sleep!" Bobby grumbled. 

"You just had to get involved in this didn't ya Swamp Rat?" Rogue snapped. 

"Look Gambit keeps telling you the Elvis angle was not Gambit's idea!" Remy snapped. "Colossus insisted on it!" 

"Well I insist that the two of you are gonna be doing a little extra Danger Room training for the next couple of weeks," Logan growled through the microphone as they entered the Danger Room. He, Xavier and Storm were in the control room. "Maybe that oughta work off that extra energy."

"All right that's enough Logan," Xavier sighed. "X-Men, prepare for Danger Room Exercise Program 5. Storm initiate program. Storm? Storm?" He turned around and found her sound asleep at the console. 

"Storm? Storm wake up!" Logan snapped. 

"What...?" Ororo woke up. "Oh… I apologize," She rubbed her temples together. 

"That's all right Storm," Xavier sighed. "I'm afraid none of us got much sleep last night." 

"I can't believe Shipwreck came back after we sent the Misfit Boys back home!" She groaned. 

"Yeah that guy's a lot more resilient than he looks, I'll give him that," Logan said. "No wonder the kids think they can just come over here and drive us crazy whenever they feel like it." 

"Can't you just tell them not to come here anymore?" Ororo whined.

"Oh yeah that'll work," Logan said sarcastically.

"I fear Logan may be right," Xavier sighed. "In their case it might encourage them. Maybe I should speak to General Hawk?" 

"Yeah I can picture that conversation," Logan grunted. "Trust me Charles, he will use any excuse to get those kids off his base. Hell, he can't even handle half of the Joes sometimes!" 

"For some reason that doesn't surprise me," Xavier sighed.

Meanwhile the X-Men were running through their typical training course filled with lasers and explosions. As Kitty was dealing with a particularly pesky laser suddenly Lance materialized in wearing his red and black uniform and carrying a backpack. "Whoa!" Lance yelled, yanking Kitty out of the way. 

"Lance what are you doing here?" Kitty asked. 

"I wanted to surprise you but I think I got surprised instead," Lance gulped. "DUCK!" They dodged another laser blast. "I didn't mean to end up in the Danger Room! I just wanted to give you this!" He pulled out a little pink stuffed cat out of his backpack. "It's for you!" 

Then a laser blast shredded it to pieces right out of his hands. "Hey!" Lance yelled.

"Oopsie," Peter said as he held one of the retracting lasers in his hands. "Sorry! My mistake!"

"Your last you jerk!" Lance snarled as he sent a tremor towards Peter knocking him down. 

"Oh lord what are they doing now?" Hank moaned. 

"Avalanche is wrecking the session," Logan groaned. "And here they all go fighting again." The adults watched the mayhem unfold below them. 

"I can't take any more of this," Ororo grumbled as she left. "I'm going back to bed." 

She made her way to her room and saw there was a huge present box inside. "What's this?" She read the tag. "To Ororo? But who…?"

"SURPRISE BABY!" Shipwreck popped out. He was wearing nothing but his boxers and a ribbon tied around his chest. 

"DON'T YOU EVER QUIT?" Ororo yelled. 

"Nope," Shipwreck grinned. He made a macho pose. "How do you like your he-man?"

"Well done!" Ororo shouted as she started to charge up. 

"Uh oh…" Shipwreck gulped.

Meanwhile the Professor and Hank were in the hallway. "Okay give me the total for the damages," Xavier groaned.

"I figure two thousand for new laser cannons," Hank scribbled on some paper. "Ten thousand for the holes in the walls…"

"Thirteen dollars for a new aspirin bottle," Xavier moaned.

"YEOOWWWWWWWW!" Shipwreck screamed as Ororo chased him out of her room. "NOT THE SHOCK TREATMENT AGAIN!" 

"Watching Storm fry the living daylights out of Shipwreck again…" Hank smirked. 

"Priceless," Xavier grinned. 


	5. Sneaking in the Movies

**Sneaking in the Movies**

"Well at least one good thing came out of yesterday's mess," Peter grumbled. "General Hawk promised that the Misfits wouldn't show up at the mansion for at least a few days." 

"Yeah I could really use the peace and quiet," Kitty sighed. They were sitting in the living room. 

"Well…as long as things are quiet," Peter gulped. "Um…"

"What is it Peter?" 

"Kitty…would you like to go see a movie tonight?" Peter asked.

"Really?" Kitty blinked. "Cool! I've been dying to see the new Arron Stanley fic!" 

"Then it's a date!" Peter smiled.

"Great!" Kitty jumped up. "I gotta go figure out what to wear!" She left the room.

Remy overheard this and smirked as he walked in. "I take it all went well?" 

"Yes. Thanks for lending me the money to take Kitty out," Peter said.

"No problem," Remy grinned. "That's what friends are for."

"I can't believe it! A whole night alone with Kitty!" Peter sighed dreamily. 

"The best part is there's no way Avalanche will ever know," Remy grinned. "Gambit made sure of that by bribing Jamie."

"Are you sure he won't find out?" Peter asked.

"Trust me," Remy walked out the door with him. 

However no one noticed that hiding on the ledge on a nearby open window was a certain green and yellow parrot. "Awk! Oh boy! Dirt!" Polly happily squawked. He was wearing some kind of mini harness with a metallic button. Using his beak he pushed the button and he teleported back outside the Misfit house. 

Polly flew around squawking. "This just in! This just in! Newsflash! Newsflash! Extra! Extra! Read all about it!" He flew into Lance's room where he was waiting. 

"You got something?" Lance asked the bird.

"Awk! I got the jackpot!" Polly squawked. "Metal Man's taking Kitty on a date tonight! They're going to the movies! Staring Arron Stanley in his latest role the critics say is laugh out loud funny! I give it two wings up! Awk!" 

"Thanks Polly," Lance gave him a cookie. "I knew I could count on you!" 

"When you absolutely positively need a job done, I'm your bird!" Polly squawked. "Unlike a certain bald turkey around here that does nothing!" He stuck a tiny tongue out at Freedom, Spirit's bald eagle companion who was outside. At this the eagle shrieked. Polly bristled. "Same to you buddy!" 

"Okay what are you up to now?" Pietro asked as he zipped in. "What's that on the bird?"

"Trinity cooked up a transporter device for Polly so he could go spy on the X-Men," Lance told him. 

"Sneaky," Pietro grinned. "I like that."

"Yeah and it's a good thing too!" Lance told him. "Kitty's going on a date with Peter tonight at the movies!"

"So what are you gonna do?" Pietro asked. "We're not supposed to go over there for a little while. Well at least until Shipwreck's wounds heal." 

"We're not supposed to go over to the X-Mansion," Lance told him. "But no one said anything about not going anywhere else."

"Oh I know I should resist the temptation," Pietro grinned. "I mean I really should let you annoy the X-Geeks all by your lonesome."

"But you're not are you?" Lance grinned.

"You bet I won't!" Pietro laughed. "Besides, something tells me the two of them won't be alone anyway!" 

************************************************************************

"Scott why are we here?" Jean groaned. "I don't even like Arron Stanley movies!" 

"Well somebody's gotta keep an eye on Kitty," Scott told her. They were up in the balcony above them, hidden in the back from view. 

"I thought you liked Peter?" Jean asked.

"I do, it's just well…" Scott began.

"It's just Scooter boy can't resist playing big brother," Tabitha smirked as she popped up in the seat behind him. "Hey Sammy you owe me five bucks!" 

"What are you two doing here?" Jean asked. 

"Well uh…" Sam scratched his head. "We were…" 

"We wanted to see the show," Tabitha grinned as she swiped some of Scott's popcorn. "And I don't mean the one on the screen." 

"Hey are those Ju Ju Bees?" Bobby popped up and snagged them from Scott. "Thanks man!" 

"Who said you could have some?" Scott snapped. 

"Yeah you need to share," Kurt popped over and snagged some. He was in his human disguise thanks to his holowatch.

"Is everybody from the mansion here?" Scott asked, exasperated. 

"Nah the rest of them said something like they had better things to do," Tabitha munched on some more of his popcorn. "What I have no idea." 

"I knew I should have listened to Rogue and stayed home," Jean groaned. 

"I knew those X-Geeks would be here!" Lance grumbled as he watched them from the other side of the movie theater. He put down the binoculars he was holding and looked at Pietro, Wanda, Althea, Xi, and Todd. "We gotta do something! Hey where's Freddy?"

"At the concession stands, where else?" Pietro told him. 

"I gotta ask this," Wanda said. "Is there ever gonna be a time when one of us goes out on a date and everyone else doesn't tag along to spy on us?"

"Yeah, like that's gonna happen," Pietro snickered. 

"Xi I need a huge favor," Lance asked. "Could you please go down there and see what they're talking about?" 

"Are you nuts?" Todd asked. "What am I saying?"

"All right," Xi nodded.

"You mean you're really gonna do it?" Wanda asked. 

"Why not?" Xi grinned. "Besides, there are perks to being invisible. I think I might pay a visit to the X-Men as well." He turned invisible and went on his way.

"I have a feeling that the X-Geeks are in for a surprise," Pietro grinned. "Give me those binoculars!" He swiped them from Lance.

"This is gonna be good!" Wanda cackled. 

Meanwhile the X-Men were sitting over in their corner of the theater, completely unaware of the Misfits' presence. "Look if you guys want some more popcorn go buy your own!" Scott snapped. "Don't forget why we're here!" It started to get dark, indicating the previews were about to begin. 

"Scott you are like way too tense about this you know that?" Tabitha said as she sipped some of Scott's soda. Suddenly she let out a squeal. "HEY!" 

"SHHHH!" The others shushed her.

"Tabitha, you want the whole theater to know we're here?" Bobby asked. 

"Yeah well then maybe you should keep your paws off me!" Tabitha turned on him. 

"What?" Bobby asked. "I didn't do anything!" 

"Well somebody pinched me on the shoulder!" Tabitha snapped. She glared at Sam on the other side of her. 

"Wasn't me," Sam held up his hands defensively. 

"Yeah well it better not be you," Tabitha turned in her seat to face Sam with her back to Bobby. Bobby shrugged and went back to watching the previews. "I mean it, hands…OFF!" Tabitha yelped.

"What?" Sam asked. 

"You pervert!" Tabitha whirled around and smacked Bobby. "So it was you!"

"I didn't do anything!" Bobby defended.

"Oh yeah, then who snapped my bra?" Tabitha snarled.

"What?" Sam gasped. "Hands off you jerk!" He reached over to grab Bobby by the collar. "I mean it!"

"Hey I didn't do anything!" Bobby protested.

"Yeah right!" Tabitha snapped.

"Will you guys keep it down?" Jean hissed. 

"Well tell him to keep his grabby hands to himself!" Tabitha snapped. 

"I'm telling you I didn't do anything!" Bobby snapped.

"Move it before I blow you up into itty bitty ice cubes!" Tabitha snapped. 

"Fine," Bobby left his seat and sat next to Kurt and right behind Jean. Things were fine for a few seconds when…

"Hey!" Jean leapt up. She put her hand on the back of her neck. "Real mature Bobby!" 

"What?" Bobby asked. 

"What'd he do?" Scott asked her.

"He put an ice cube down my back!" Jean told him.

"I did not!" Bobby snapped. No one noticed an ice cube being lifted by something invisible from Kurt's drink. 

"Bobby will you act your age for once?" Scott groaned. 

"Yikes!" Kurt leapt up. "That's cold! Oh very funny!" 

"What?" Bobby asked. 

"Bobby if you can't stop clowning around then get out of here!" Scott snapped. "You're gonna blow our cover!"

"I didn't do anything!" Bobby said loudly.

"SHHHHHH!" Several patronizers as well as X-Men shushed him. 

"Fine I'm out of here," Bobby started to leave. He was almost out of the aisle when something punched him in the arm. "OW! All right who did that?" 

"Did what?" Tabitha asked. 

Bobby glared at her, as she was the one closest to him. "Okay if that's the way you wanna play," He growled. He used his powers to freeze her drink solid.

"Hey what's the big idea?" Tabitha snapped. 

"You started it!" Bobby snapped.

"Did not!" Tabitha stood up rapidly. 

"Did too!" Bobby snapped.

"You are way outta line pal!" Sam snarled. 

"What you gonna do something about it?" Bobby snapped. 

"Will all of you shut up?" Scott snapped.

"Kurt!" Jean yelled. Her hair and dress were splattered with soda.

"I didn't do it!" Kurt yelled. 

"Oh yeah right!" Jean snapped. 

"Will all of you knock it off?" Scott snapped. "We're gonna get…"

"SCOTT? JEAN? WHAT ARE ALL OF YOU DOING HERE?" Peter yelled. 

"Spotted," Scott groaned.

"I don't believe this!" Peter snapped. "I can see you spying on Avalanche? But me?" 

"Down in front!" Lance beaned Peter in the back with some M&Ms. 

"What the…?" Peter turned around. "YOU!"

"Lance!" Kitty squealed. 

"Kitty!" Lance stormed up to them. 

"Lance!" Peter growled.

"Peter," Lance growled back.

"Lance…Peter!" Kitty warned. 

"Kitty," Peter brushed her aside. 

"Peter!" Kitty warned.

"Kitty!" Lance yelled.

"Lance!" Kitty tried to get between the two of them.

"Rocky!" Tabitha threw some popcorn at Lance.

"Janet! Dr. Scott! Brad!" Pietro quipped as he zipped over and threw some candy at Tabitha. 

"Tabitha?" Kitty's jaw dropped. "Pietro?" 

"Pietro!" Tabitha growled.

"Tabitha…" Sam warned grabbing her arm.

"Sam?" Pietro looked at the two of them. 

"Sam?" Peter asked.

"Pietro!" Lance growled. 

"Alvers!" Scott got out of his seat.

"Summers!" Lance snapped.

"Scott!" Kitty yelled. 

"Scott," Jean tried to pull Scott back. She glared at Pietro. "Pietro!"

"Jean…"Kitty growled. 

"Well now that we know we're all here," Pietro quipped. "Let's get on with it shall we?" 

"You were spying on us!" Kitty stamped her foot as she glared at Lance. 

"And it's a good thing I did!" Lance told her. "Besides I'm not the only one! Looks like Summers here doesn't even trust his own team mates!" 

"Well I knew you'd pull a stunt like this!" Scott got in his face.

"Oh yeah blame me," Lance said sarcastically. "That's what you always do when you don't have a good reason!" 

"Yeah and what reason do you have for being here?" Peter snapped.

"Are you out of your mind?" Lance whirled on him. "If you think for one minute that I'm…" 

"THAT'S ENOUGH! ALL OF YOU!" Ororo appeared as she walked down the aisle. "It's a good thing I decided to keep an eye on all of you!" 

"Storm!" Kitty yelled.

"Storm?" Pietro gulped.

"Storm!" Shipwreck popped up from the seats. His head still had a bandage on it.

"Shipwreck!" Ororo yelped in fright. 

"Here we go again," Pietro remarked. 

"How did you…? What are you doing? Following me everywhere I go?" Ororo shouted. 

"Yeah and this time we decided to follow him," Low Light appeared in the theater with Cover Girl. "Told you. You owe me five bucks." 

"WHAT IS THIS?" Kitty yelled. "DOES EVERYBODY HAVE TO FOLLOW US WHEREVER WE GO?" 

"Well that's the way it seems to go, doesn't it?" Pietro smirked.

"WHO ASKED YOU?" Everyone yelled at him. Then they proceeded to argue.

The patrons at the theater watched as the mutants bicker. "Somebody call the management and get those freaks out of here!" One teenager remarked. "I can't watch the movie with all this racket!"

"TABITHA NO! YEOW!" Bobby yelled as Tabitha chased him around. 

"This will teach you to make time with Kitty behind my back!" Lance yelled as he tackled Peter. Soon the two of them were brawling in the aisles. 

"NOT THE LIGHTNING!" Shipwreck yelled as Storm chased him. "NOT THE LIGHTNING!" 

"Forget the movie," Another teenager said. "This show is a lot better!" 


	6. Showdown!

**Showdown**

"Where is he?" Peter stalked the lobby of the movie theater. "Where is the rat?" Bobby and Kurt were with him. 

"Last I saw him he and Kitty went out of the theater together," Bobby said. "Hey there's Toad!" 

"If anyone knows anything I'll bet it's him!" Kurt said. They went towards him. 

"All right where are they?" Peter asked, making a fist.

Todd casually leaned against the wall, folding his arms. He made a motion with his thumb towards the men's room. "In there, but I wouldn't go in if I were you," He smirked. 

Peter ignored him and burst in. He saw Lance hugging Kitty. "KITTY!" Peter's jaw dropped.

"I told you not to go in," Todd smirked as he stood outside the door. 

"Peter it's not what you think," Kitty said as she pulled away from Lance. 

"What if it was?" Lance glared at Peter. 

"Kitty," Peter said simply. "I want you to leave us alone. Avalanche and I need to…discuss something."

"Now Peter no fighting," Kitty ran up to him. 

"Kitty it's okay," Lance motioned with his chin. "I can handle him. Besides, we got stuff to say to each other that should have been said a long time ago." 

"Lance…" Kitty warned. 

"Elf take her out of here," Lance motioned. "We need our privacy."

"Ya, come on Kitty this isn't really a place you should be anyway," Kurt took her arm and teleported her out. The other boys closed the door and left the two of them alone in the bathroom. 

"What did you say to her?" Peter growled.

"Let's just say I can put on the charm too, when I put my mind to it," Lance smirked. "Of course, the way she feels for me it's not that hard to convince her."   
"Kitty could never really love someone like you!" Peter snapped. 

"Well if she doesn't she's doing an awfully good acting job," Lance said. "And I wouldn't be making cracks about my past if I were you buddy!" 

"There's a huge difference between us Avalanche," Peter growled. 

"No the difference is you've had a few lucky breaks," Lance said. "I come from a world where if you don't succeed or survive it's too darn bad." 

"And if you don't do whatever it takes to get what you want it's a crying shame?" Peter mocked. "Don't insult my intelligence!"

"And don't insult mine!" Lance snapped. "Let's get this out right now! No more games, no more little gimmicks. Just you and me!"

"Not just you and me," Peter said. "This whole thing concerns Kitty and which of us she is going to choose!" 

"Yeah well that's rather up to her now isn't?" Lance leaned back. "And that's been the problem." 

"What? The fact that she has some free will on who she wants to date?" Peter scoffed. 

"No the fact that she hasn't chosen either of us yet is what's making us both edgy," Lance said. "I for one have had it with this sharing nonsense."

"So have I," Peter glared at him.

"Well at least that's one thing we can agree on," Lance folded his arms. "So now what do we do about it?" 

"You could always act like a gentleman for once in your life and back out gracefully," Peter said. 

"Listen, Russkie," Lance growled. "I take my marching orders from Kitty, no one else! Especially not a tin-plated bully like you! Got it?" 

"And I'm not going to let some American street trash push me around," Peter growled. 

"Looks like neither one of us is gonna back down," Lance stared him in the eye.

"It seems that way doesn't it?" Peter stared right back. 

"So I guess we're just gonna have to keep at it until she does decide," Lance told him. "I'm warning you now, I'm not gonna stop until I win. I'll do whatever it takes to win Kitty's heart. Whatever it takes. Got it?" 

"Well then I suggest that if you are going to impress Kitty you should at least dress more…how do you say…appropriately?" Peter sneered at him indicating his torn jeans. "You may be used to dressing like a common bum but I think if you really want to please her, you should actually find some style. Just some advice. If you get my meaning." 

"Really?" Lance's eyes narrowed. "Thanks. But if anything I wear Kitty doesn't like…I take it off. If you get **my **meaning." 

"WHY YOU…?" Peter roared and punched Lance in the face. Then he armored up. 

"Oh I was hoping you'd do that!" Lance growled. "COME ON YOU BIG APE! GIVE ME YOUR BEST SHOT!" He dodged another punch. 

"Stand still!" Peter bellowed as he tried to punch Lance again, but instead started punching the wall.

"Fighting you is like standing still!" Lance snapped. 

"STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!" Kitty shouted as she phased inside. She screamed when she saw Peter knock another hole in the wall. "COLOSUSS STOP IT!"

"Kitty…" Peter turned around and de-armored himself. "I…"

"I don't wanna hear it!" Kitty snapped. "I can't take this any more from either of you!"

"Hey I'm not the one who was using his powers without control," Lance pointed out.

"That was your plan all along you…" Peter swore something in Russian. 

"KNOCK IT OFF THE BOTH OF YOU!" Kitty shouted. By now they had attracted a rather curious crowd of X-Men, Misfits and humans. "You both are acting like jerks!"

"Well what the hell do you expect?" Pietro growled. "If anyone's to blame it's you!"

"What do you mean?" Kitty whirled on him.

"You know damn well what I mean," Pietro snapped. "You could have ended this long ago by just making a simple choice between the two of them. But instead you decided to string them both along. It's bad enough you've treated Lance like dirt ever since you've known him but now you have to do the same to Colossus?"

"For once my brother is right," Wanda agreed. "This is all your fault Kitty! They'd never act like this if you didn't act like a tramp!"

"What did you call me?" Kitty shrieked.

"Now sis, tramp is a bit strong," Pietro remarked. "Actually she's acting a lot more like Jean. Which is hardly surprising." 

"What?" Jean yelled as she made her way inside. 

"You heard me," Pietro smirked at her. "Kitty's acting the same way you did with Scott and Duncan. The only difference is that unlike Scooter boy, Lance isn't a pansy who's willing to stand by and let Petey walk all over him." 

"You're way out of line Pietro!" Scott snapped. 

"No, **She's** way out of line!" Wanda snapped pointing to Kitty. "And it's high time someone told her that!" 

"You got that right girlfriend!" Althea said.

"Tell it like it is!" Todd called out. 

"Testify!" Fred shouted. 

"Personally I think Lance should have dumped that ditz a long time ago!" Pietro said. "But then he's always had a soft spot for pathetic charity cases!" 

"That's it you jerk!" Kitty lunged at him.

"Too slow!" Pietro cackled as she dodged her. He laughed at them and was then stopped when Peter grabbed his collar. "Whoa!" 

"Not quick enough!" Peter growled. 

"Listen Colossus," Lance rushed at him. "Nobody beats up Pietro except me! Got it?" 

"Nhyaahhh!" Pietro wiggled out of Peter's grasp and stuck his tongue out. 

"Jerk!" Kitty managed to tackle Pietro. 

"Get off my brother!" Wanda snapped as she hexed Kitty off him. Jean retaliated by using her powers on Wanda. Todd retaliated by spraying goop all over her. Scott tried to blast him but Fred grabbed him. Soon all the Misfits and X-Men were fighting each other in the men's room.

"Let me guess," Low Light sighed as he looked at the manager of the movie theater. "Mutants are forbidden to come back here right?"

"That all depends," The manager said. "Do they do matinees?" 


	7. What Do You Mean You Can't Make Up Your ...

**What do You Mean You Can't Make up Your Mind?**

The Misfit Kids and Shipwreck were sitting around the kitchen, minus Todd and Lance. "How long is this gonna take?" Pietro grumbled.

"Be patient," Wanda told him. "He'll be here."

Just then Todd teleported into the room. "Well it took you long enough!" Pietro snapped. "Did you find out anything?" ****

"Are you kidding? I heard the whole thing," Todd told them. 

"Well spill it!" Shipwreck told him.

"Okay it's like this," Todd told them. "First of all Xavier called in Kitty for a private meeting. Of course you know when he says private he invites Jean, Rogue and Storm in as well as the entire place listens in through the keyhole."

"Yeah and you were there as well," Althea said. "We know that."

"No I was outside stuck to the roof just above an open window," Todd told them. "But I could still see and hear everything."

"They didn't spot you?" Fred asked. 

"Nah," Todd shook his head. "First off that Wolverine guy wasn't there. He was out for a drive or something. Plus I got this band aid on my head that those psychic's can't touch, see?" Todd peeled off what appeared to be a flesh colored band-aid on his forehead. In reality it was a device that prevented telepaths from entering one's mind.

"So what happened?" Pietro asked. 

"First off Xavier says," Todd then did an impression of Xavier. "Now Kitty, normally I don't like to involve myself in the private lives of my students, but since things have gotten so out of hand I feel I must intervene." 

"Hey you do him pretty good Toad," Fred commented.

"Thanks," Todd grinned, feeling proud of himself. "I've been practicing." 

"Fine we know the Toad can act," Pietro growled. "Will you get on with it already?" 

"Hey I'm trying to set the mood here!" Todd snapped.

"Quit interrupting him Pietro," Althea told him. "Go on." 

"Okay," Todd continued. "Then he says stuff about how things are getting out of control and the situation's gotten out of hand. Blah. Blah. Blah. Then Rogue puts in her two cents in on how Kitty's love life is driving the entire mansion nuts. Of course Kitty tells them that it ain't her fault that Lance and Peter are going at it all the time."

"Yeah, right!" Fred huffed. 

"That's pretty much what Rogue said," Todd told him. "And of course Kitty kinda took umbrage at that. Just when I thought that the two of them were about to get into a fist fight, Storm breaks it up." 

"She shouldn't have," Althea said. "Somebody oughta slap some sense into that girl." 

"Well then Storm takes over," Todd went on. "She tells him that it's not only not doing her any good always going back and forth between those two lunatics, but it ain't fair to Colossus and Avalanche either." 

"Damn right it isn't," Pietro grumbled.

"Who are you to talk?" Wanda snapped. "You were always dating more than one girl at the same time!" 

"Yeah what about the Sadie Hawkins Dance where you walked in with not one but four dates?" Fred pointed out.

"He's got a point," Xi said.

"You went to a dance with four girls at the same time?" Shipwreck looked at him. "Kid, I'm impressed!"

"Way to go Pop!" Althea slapped him on the head. "See that's the problem! If a guy does it it's a mark of manhood, but if a girl does it she's a slut!"

"That's not true!" Pietro snapped. "I consider myself just as much a slut as the next girl. Wait a minute…that didn't come out right." 

"No kidding," Shipwreck winced. 

"I'm talking about that I don't pretend that I'm anything else than what I am," Pietro told them.

"With your personality it would be hard not to," Xi remarked. 

"Look I make no bones about it," Pietro told them. "Right from the start I let the girl know that I'm not ready for a commitment. I'm just out for a good time and if she doesn't like it she's free to go. Of course most of them don't go. They know they may not have a lasting relationship with me, but boy will they have fun while it lasts! I don't go around making other girls fight over me to inflate my ego!"

"Oh yeah?" Fred asked. "What about that party we crashed last Halloween?" 

"Okay first of all those cheerleaders were drunk way before we even got there," Pietro told them. "And they were ready to fight over anything! Second I only suggested the lime Jell-O because I didn't want my new suit to be caked in mud. I mean mud wrestling is a bit barbaric as well as messy."

"Oh yeah you reek of class," Todd said sarcastically. 

"That's not what I smell," Wanda sneered. 

"Can we get back to what's important here?" Pietro asked. "Go ahead Toad, tell us what happened next." 

"Okay uh…where was I?" Todd scratched his head. "Oh right, Storm was saying that it wasn't fair to Lance and Metal Muscles and that she had to decide one way or the other and soon!"

"Good!" Althea nodded. 

"Not really," Todd said. "Because then Kitty starts putting on a sobbing act." 

"What for?" Pietro asked. 

"Because then she tells 'em that she **can't **choose!" Todd said, exasperated. "Because she was in love with the both of 'em!" 

"Oh for crying out loud!" Pietro slapped his forehead.

"I don't believe it!" Fred groaned.

"Believe it," Todd said. "Even Xavier did. He said he could tell by her confused thoughts she really did have feelings for the two of 'em!"

"What a ditz!" Wanda snapped. 

"Then she starts babbling on how hard it was being in love with two guys at the same time and not being able to choose," Todd remarked.

"Oh the poor thing," Wanda said sarcastically. 

"And she goes on about every time she thinks she's made a decision she thinks of something else and she's back where she started," Todd said. "That she can't decide between the two of 'em. And then Summers shouts through the keyhole, 'That's easy! Dump Alvers'! Well after the commotion died down Xavier suggested that Kitty take the next few days to seriously think about the two of them and how much they mean to her."

"Let me guess," Fred remarked. "Everyone starts putting pressure on Kitty to dump Lance, am I right?" 

"Not exactly. Jean started sticking up for Peter. But then Xavier says that Kitty shouldn't dismiss Lance right away either. They did have a history together and he really does care for Kitty. Why I will never know," Todd said.

"Wait let me get this straight," Pietro stopped him. "Old Baldy is in favor of those two being together?"

"That's a surprise," Shipwreck admitted. 

"Well then he makes this remark on how Kitty dating a Misfit isn't necessarily a bad thing," Todd told them. "As how that would strengthen relations between the two teams."

"Okay that's not a surprise," Pietro remarked. 

"Well then Jean says that maybe it's not such a good thing for us to be on such good terms with the Misfits if it meant sacrificing Kitty's happiness," Todd continued. "By now Kitty is getting fed up and she tells Kitty at least it's a better reason than going out with a jock in order to be more popular."

"Who Hoo! Good one!" Fred grinned. 

"Then Rogue says that maybe Pietro had a point when he was comparing her to Kitty and that's when Jean really hit the roof," Todd told them. "As well as a few other things." 

"I can imagine," Pietro snickered. 

"Well how did it end?" Wanda asked.

"Oh it ain't over," Todd told her. "They're still fighting about it."

"Well then what the heck are you still doing here?" Shipwreck snapped. "Go back there and find out what's going on!" 

************************************************************************

"Well did you find out anything?" Bobby asked as Kurt teleported into the kitchen. Remy, Scott, Sam, Ray and Roberto were there as well. 

"Is the fight over?" Roberto asked. 

"Well yeah," Kurt told them. "Storm finally managed to split them up and now Jean and Rogue are in another room."

"So how did it end?" Ray asked. "Spill it!"

"Well while the Professor went down to the infirmary to get some bandages, Kitty kept going on about how great Colossus was to her and how nice he is to Storm," Kurt explained.

"Why did the Professor need to go…?" Scott started to ask.

"Let's just say Jean's aim was a little off today and leave it at that," Kurt sighed. "Anyway then she goes on about how nice Lance is to her and how much the two of them have been through."

"Well somebody should tell her how much trouble he put her through," Remy remarked. 

"She mentioned that. She said that no matter what he's done in the past she can't help but forgive him because he's really sorry about it," Kurt groaned. 

"And she believes that?" Scott grumbled. "So is she gonna make up her mind or not?"

"She doesn't know," Kurt raised his hands. 

"Well is she gonna do something about it?" Roberto asked.

"She doesn't know," Kurt said.

"Well what is she gonna do?" Bobby asked.

"She doesn't know," Kurt said.

"Well what is Xavier gonna do?" Scott asked.

"He doesn't know," Kurt sighed. "But he made it clear that he wasn't going to interfere." 

"So in other words this big meeting was a total waste of time!" Ray groaned. 

"I don't get it," Bobby asked. "Peter's a great guy. How can Kitty be in love with a guy like him and at the same time be in love with a jerk like Lance?" 

"Don't look at me," Scott sighed. "I used to ask the same thing about Duncan."

"We all used to ask about the same thing with Duncan," Ray remarked. "And he was an even bigger jerk than Lance! Even Xavier couldn't figure it out and he's a telepath."

"I dunno," Remy shrugged. "Who knows what goes on in the minds of women? Lord, even with Rogue Remy never know from one day to the next. But Remy do know one thing, the man that does figure them out, he's gonna make so much money, he'll make Bill Gates look like an ice cream salesman." 


	8. A Scientific Approach

A Scientific Approach 

_Did you ever have to make up your mind? Pick up on one and leave the other behind?_

_It's not often easy and not often kind Did you ever have to make up your mind?_

"Kitty will ya knock it off!" Rogue banged on the door. "You've been playing that stupid song straight for four hours now! I'm sick of it! Kitty!"

"Is she still in there?" Tabitha walked up with Amara.

"What do you think?" Rogue pointed her thumb at the door.

"She's really out of it," Amara said. "She didn't even come down to breakfast!"

"Well it's time for her to stop moping and get out of bed," Tabitha made a small energy bomb and popped it into the door's lock. "Fire in the hole!"

The door fell open with a bang. They saw Kitty lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling. She was still fully dressed from last night. The song from the Loving Spoonful was still playing at full blast on her CD player. "Kitty!" Amara rushed to her bed. "You look awful? Didn't you sleep last night?"

"No," Kitty spoke in a monotone. "I didn't. I couldn't."

"You're really bugged about this aren't ya?" Tabitha asked.

"I feel so awful," Kitty sighed. "It's like this decision keeps playing in my head and I can't get rid of it!"

"Well you're not gonna figure anything out on an empty stomach," Tabitha pulled her up and dragged her out the door. "Come on, let's get you something to eat and then we'll all dish it out."

However when they got downstairs into the kitchen both Lance and the rest of the Misfits were there as well as Peter and most of the other X-Men. "Oh great!" Kitty groaned. "I told all of you, I don't have a clue how to decide right now! Okay?"

"Listen Kitty," Daria said. "Maybe you need to take a new approach to this!"

"Yeah you could do it scientifically!" Quinn said. "We could help you! Right Forge?"

"That's not a bad idea," Forge nodded.

"Uh oh," Peter gulped.

"I don't like the way this is going," Lance nodded. "Especially when you little maniacs are involved!"

"What have you got to lose?" Brittany asked Kitty.

"Nothing I guess," Kitty sighed. "Why not?"

"To the lab!" Brittany called out.

"Oh god no…" Lance moaned. Soon they all teleported via the Mass Device to the Triplet's lab.

"I have a very bad feeling about this," Peter gulped as he looked around at all the equipment.

"Look all we're going to do is to put in all the data we can and then run it through our computer," Daria explained. "It will compare the data and pick the most suitable match for Kitty. Forge you can be our assistant."

"Something tells me this is not gonna be good," Scott gulped. "I'm not getting tested and even I'm starting to get nervous!"

"Relax Scott," Althea said. "As long as all of us watches the little maniacs hopefully nothing will happen."

"Hopefully?" Lance whined.

"Let's compare the facts shall we?" Forge began to tabulate. "First ages: Both Peter and Lance are 18. Two years older than Kitty."

"We'll put in their powers and backgrounds next," Quinn typed in the information. "Next we'll put in their personalities and psychological profiles."

"Oh this ought to be easy," Scott quipped. "Alvers is psychotic. End of story."

"How would you like to be buried alive?" Lance growled.

"Exhibit A ladies and gentlemen," Scott made a dramatic gesture.

"We should put in astrological signs as well," Brittany said. "Entering birth dates!"

"What does that have to do with anything?" Lance asked. "That stuff's a lot of hooey!"

"Hey you guys were born in the same month," Wanda noticed. "You and Peter are just separated by a couple of days."

"And according to this you are both compatible with Kitty's astrological sign," Quinn said.

"Now we will put in your mutant astrological signs," Daria nodded. "Once we figure them out."

"Our what?" Peter asked.

"Every mutant also has a special sign based on his or her powers," Daria took out a strange chart. "For example, Kitty's power is phasing right? That means she can be intangible, like a shadow. So according to this her sign is the moon."

"Where did you get this chart?" Jean blinked.

"We created it based on several old texts and tablets on mutant physiology and astronomy!" Quinn told her. "Jean your sign is the Fire sign, because telepathy and telekinesis are equated with the mind. You know the light of knowledge and all that stuff."

"Well that does make some sense," Rogue said.

"It doesn't make any sense!" Scott snapped. "This stuff is ridiculous!"

"Oh really?" Jean smirked. "According to this chart your sign is the Sun, which is perfectly compatible with fire signs. Not only that, they are highly recommended to be couples."

"On the other hand…" Scott looked at the chart again.

"So what are their signs?" Todd asked.

"Well Lance's is the Mountain for obvious reasons," Quinn showed him. "Peter's because his skin turns into a metal substance is the Gold sign."

"See that!" Peter crowed. "Gold beats a plain old rock any day!"

"Yeah but gold also comes from mountains," Daria told him. "Which means your signs are almost the same type. And according to this they're both poor choices for Moon types."

"WHAT?" Both Lance and Peter yelled.

"No way!" Lance grabbed the chart. "Let me see that!"

"It's all right there," Brittany pointed out. "Both Mountain and Gold signs are stubborn and inflexible. The Moon Female type is flighty and tends to go her own way."

"Yeah that's Kitty all right," Tabitha smirked.

"In fact according to this," Daria looked at it. "Both types spell disaster for Moon types."

"For some reason that does not surprise me," Rogue chuckled.

"Okay that data is entered," Forge assisted. "What else should we put in?"

"Physical characteristics," Brittany grinned as she took out a ruler. "Starting with the most important one. Boys would you mind…?"

"STAY AWAY FROM US!" Lance backed off. "PUT THAT RULER DOWN!"

"Don't even think about it!" Peter snapped.

"Fine if you want your data to be incomplete," Brittany huffed.

"You guys are like so weird," Kitty sighed as she took a drink from a nearby soda machine. "Where did you get this thing anyway?"

"Stole it from a Cobra Base," Althea told her. "Which also explains why the little maniacs are so wired all the time."

"Maybe instead we should compare their genetics?" Daria suggested.

"What do you mean?" Forge asked her.

"In other words, which guy has the best genes to pass on and combine with Kitty's to have more powerful offspring," Brittany said.

"She means who will give Kitty the cutest mutant babies!" Quinn chirped. This caused Kitty to spit out her soda all over the floor.

"WHAT?" Kitty yelled as soon as she got her breath back.

"Okay I think you guys are taking this just a little too far," Jean remarked.

"Hey we need data and they've got it!" Brittany grabbed Kitty's arm.

"Hold it!" Kitty phased out of her grasp. "What the heck are you maniacs gonna do to me?"

"We need some blood samples as well as a body analysis," Brittany told her.

"Oh no I see where this is going!" Lance said. "There is no way you are getting us in our underwear!"

"Don't worry," Daria told him as she dragged him to a nearby lab table. "You get to keep your clothes on."

"Come on you two!" Quinn pushed Peter as Brittany dragged Kitty along. "We'll take you to our special analyzing machine!"

"Should we let them do this?" Kurt gulped.

"Better them than us," Todd remarked.

"You have a point," Kurt nodded.

Soon they were all in the lab section of the Misfit house. Kitty, Lance, and Peter were all on tables strapped in, with wires all over their heads and arms. They were hooked up to monitors and machines. The Triplets were in the control room, wearing pink lab coats and huge goggles. "Commence operation!" They shouted gleefully.

"Why did I agree to this?" Kitty moaned as she saw several strange apparatus descended from the ceiling.

"I do not like this," Peter gulped.

"How on earth did they fit this thing in their house?" Kitty asked. "This is so weird!"

"Of course this is weird!" Lance snapped. "This is Trinity! Get used to it!"

"This is kinda creepy yo," Todd gulped. He and the others were watching from an observation window.

"Yeah but you gotta admit the seats are great," Fred said as he munched on popcorn.

"Only the Misfits would have a snack machine in the lab," Bobby groaned. Then he proceeded to munch on some nachos. "Not that I'm complaining."

"Are they gonna be okay?" Kurt asked Althea.

"I think…" Althea looked at the sight. "Maybe…"

"First! Blood sample!" Daria pushed a button. Immediately small needles took a tiny blood sample from all of the mutants on the table.

"YEOW THAT HURTS!" Peter yelled.

"It's just a pinch you big baby," Lance snapped. "Believe me they could do a lot worse!"

"Now for a body scan," Quinn said pushing some more buttons. Strange lights scanned all over the three of them.

"Wow," Fred remarked as he ate. "Cool light show."

"See this isn't so bad," Kitty said to the boys.

"And finally," Brittany pushed another button. "How well do they conduct electricity?"

A large shock hit right through all three of them. "You just had to say that didn't you?" Peter yelled.

"This is shocking," Pietro quipped.

"All right that's it!" Kitty phased through her bonds and helped Peter and Lance out. "I'm through being a guinea pig!" She glared at the Triplets, her hair standing on end. "Look what you maniacs did to my hair!"

"Yeah!" Peter snapped as he stumbled around. "That was insane!"

"Actually it wasn't that bad either," Lance grumbled. "I think I'm starting to get used to it. But at least they can't do anything more to us."

At that moment some strange claws descended on Lance and Peter and tore their clothing to shreds, leaving them only in their underwear. "Hey!" Lance yelled while Peter swore something in Russian.

"Oops," Daria grinned.

"Wrong button," Quinn giggled.

"Sorry!" Brittany laughed.

"Why you little perverts!" Lance shouted. "I knew they'd pull a stunt like this!"

"Thanks a lot Alvers!" Peter tried to cover himself.

"HOW IS THIS MY FAULT?" Lance shouted.

"Oh my…" Kitty stood there in shock looking at the boys.

"When I get my hands on you…" Lance growled. Then the claws came at them again, snapping. "Oh no you don't!"

"Okay this stops now!" Althea shouted at the Triplets.

"But we haven't gotten their underwear yet," Brittany said simply as both boys ran from the snapping claws below them. That was the moment Lance let loose a tremor. "On the other hand we can get them some other time."

"Your sisters are so weird," Wanda groaned at Althea.

"Yeah but you gotta admit they have some pretty good ideas," Tabitha smirked at the sight.

Lance let loose another tremor that shook the building. "Lance knock it off!" Kitty snapped. "You wanna bring the whole place down on us?"

"Sorry," Lance muttered, powering down.

"Look to you this may be just another building to destroy but I don't want you hurting Kitty okay?" Peter snapped.

"You're way out of line Tin Man!" Lance snapped.

"Here we go again," Jean sighed.

"Oh let 'em fight," Tabitha waved as the boys started to attack each other. "This is very entertaining."

"Okay all the data's in the computer," Forge announced. "And the results should be coming up any minute now. Ah its ready." He took out a paper.

"So what's the verdict?" Todd asked.

"Well," Forge read the notes. "Both guys have great genetic potential, similar chances of compatibility with Kitty and incompatibility. In other words both Lance and Peter are dead even."

"They're gonna be dead period if this keeps up!" Scott moaned.

"So in other words the final choice is up to Kitty!" Rogue grumbled. "Well that was a waste of time!"

"Well I wouldn't say that," Tabitha grinned as she watched the boys fight in their underwear.

"Kitty's mine!" Peter shouted.

"No mine!" Lance shouted.

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"I can't stand it!" Kitty groaned. "Hey Trinity! You got any more of those electric shocks!"

Top of Form 1

Bottom of Form 1


	9. What's Good for the Goose

**What's Good for the Goose….**

"Enough!" Althea shouted. "I've had it!"

"We've all had it!" Todd agreed.

"Then it's time we did something about it!" Althea said. She looked around the room at most of the Misfits. "I call this emergency meeting of the Misfits in session! Before I start, where's Lance?"

"He's locked himself in his room, composing his latest series of love poems to Her Royal Kittyness," Fred remarked. 

"Good, that'll keep him occupied for a while," Althea nodded. "Now we all know this business with Kitty has to stop!" 

"I agree," Pietro said. "She's been stringing him along for way too long!"

"So what do we do about it?" Xi asked.

"I say we let Kitty have a nice long conversation with Mr. Brick here," Daria held up a brick. 

"More electric shocks!" Quinn suggested.

"Too subtle," Brittany said. "I say we send her on a one way trip to Mongolia!" 

"Not far enough," Fred told her. "How about the Moon?"

"Saturn would be fine with me," Pietro said. 

"No, no, no," Althea sighed. "I mean we need to really teach her a lesson!" 

"We could always dump a few textbooks in before we lock her in the space shuttle," Brittany said. 

"No she means something that would really drive the message home," Daria said. 

"Yeah no girl I know would put up with sharing a guy like Lance has too," Fred remarked. "Unless it was for a reality TV show." 

"Yeah I'll bet Kitty would really hate it if the tables were turned on her!" Wanda remarked. "That'd teach her!" 

Immediately a light went on in all of their heads. "You know," Todd began to think. "I bet Kitty would just love to meet Willow." 

"Yeah," Pietro grinned. "I mean Xavier's always wanting to meet new mutants anyway." 

"I think we can arrange that," Althea grinned. "Good thing the Eloi have e-mail." 

************************************************************************

"What's going on?" Kitty asked a large group of X-Men in the main foyer. All the students were there with no adults. 

"The Misfits are bringing over some mutants to meet the Professor," Jean told her.

"Wait a minute? Those guys are bringing us new recruits?" Kitty raised an eyebrow.

"No," Rogue shook her head. "These guys are from some village of mutants in Maine. The Misfits thought it would be a good idea for them to meet the Professor and for a couple of them to spend some time here for a day or so."

"Yeah apparently they said that it was one way for us mutants to learn things from one another," Tabitha filed her nails. "Toad said something like that. I wasn't really paying attention. They're gonna be bringing 'em via the Mass Device express. Speak of the devil…"

The Misfits transported in with three other mutants they had never seen before. One was a very short mutant with thick glasses and brown fur. He was wearing a plaid jacket and brown pants and had huge hands with claws. Another was a heavyset woman in her fifties with a rainbow colored beehive hairdo. She was dressed as if she was going on safari in Africa. But it was the third one that got the most attention. It was a teenage girl with long green hair, brown skin and wearing a very high slit green skirt, necklaces, some strategically placed leaves on her chest and nothing else. To the distaste of the girls the leaves barely covered her more than ample bosom. 

"Hey everybody!" Todd waved. "We all want you to meet some friends of ours! These guys are the Eloi. This here is Mole, Mrs. S and Willow." 

"Willow?" Kitty's eyebrows raised. 

"That's Willow?" Scott's jaw dropped. 

"You guys can all get acquainted later," Althea grinned. "Right now we should take them to meet Professor X. Come on guys." She and the other Misfits escorted them down the hall. 

"So that's…Willow," Scott stammered. 

"Did you see what she was wearing?" Kitty's jaw was wide open.

"More like what she wasn't wearing," Rogue folded her arms in disgust. 

"Even in Roma Nova we wear more than that!" Amara gasped. 

"And people call me obvious," Tabitha remarked. 

Remy whistled. "Wow!" 

"What do you mean 'Wow' Swamp Rat?" Rogue growled at him. 

"Man no wonder Lance slept with her," Bobby gasped. 

"Lucky stiff," Ray whistled. 

"She's beautiful," Jamie blinked. 

"What a babe," Roberto sighed. 

"She's not that good looking," Kitty huffed.

"Oh yes she is," Bobby said. 

"I can't believe you guys!" Kitty snapped. "Just because some girl prances around in a skimpy outfit you all start acting like jerks! Can you believe them Peter? Peter!"

"Da?" Peter was looking in the direction Willow went with a dazed look on his face. "Did you say something Kitty?" 

"Oooh!" Kitty fumed. 

Then Pietro walked back escorting Willow. "We thought that while the adults were talking now would be a good time for all of you to get to know Willow. Her power is being able to control plants." 

"Hello!" Willow smiled as she walked up to them. "It's so nice to meet you all! I've heard so much about you!" 

"Oh I'll bet," Kitty grinned trying hard not to grit her teeth. "So…you used to date Lance?" 

"Only for a short while," Willow said. "He's such a sweet guy. You must be Kitty right? Lance has told me so much about you!" She took Kitty's hands. "I'm sure we'll both be great friends!"

"Yeah you have so much in common," Pietro snickered. All the X-Girls glared at him.

"I hear you have a lovely garden here," Willow asked. "May I see it?"

"Yeah sure!" Bobby grinned as he sided up to her. "I'm Bobby also known as Iceman. I'll show you."

"Actually Bobby don't you have some schoolwork to finish?" Roberto asked.

"No I don't," Bobby said. 

"Yes you do!" Roberto shoved him aside. "I'm Roberto DeCosta, also known as Sunspot." 

"And I'm Ray Crisp," Ray shoved Roberto aside. "They call me Berzerker. I'll show you around!" 

"No I think I can handle this," Roberto growled.

"I insist on showing the lady around," Ray growled back. 

"I could show her around," Jamie said.

"NO YOU WILL NOT!" Roberto, Bobby and Ray all said at the same time. 

"Ignore those _enfants_," Remy grinned. "They call me Gambit."

"And I'm Rogue," Rogue took Remy's hand and squeezed it very tightly. "Gambit's **girlfriend.**"

Remy smiled despite the enormous pain in his hand. "We're very happy," He said weakly. 

"I think as leader of the X-Men I am the best qualified to show her around," Scott said.

"Oh really?" Jean asked in a cold manner. 

"Well uh…ah…" Scott gulped. "I mean, it's part of my duties. You know."

"Well don't let me keep you from your duties then," Jean turned around and walked out. 

"Uh…could you excuse me just a sec?" Scott gulped. He went after her. "JEAAAANNN!" 

"Why don't you show me around?" Willow asked linking her arm with Peter.

"Of course!" Pietro grinned. "Why not? I'm sure he'd love to!"

"Uh…well if you want to," Peter gulped. "I guess so…"

"How about we **both **go?" Kitty asked linking Peter's other arm with hers. 

"Uh no, I mean," Peter's face started to turn red. "I mean if you're not too busy and…uh…uh…" 

"Hey Kitty," Lance walked in. "How's it going?" 

Kitty then changed her mind. "Fine Lance. How about the **two **of us go for a walk somewhere?" She asked. "You go ahead and show Willow the garden, Peter. I know you're **dying** to." With that she took Lance's hand and dragged him out of the room. 

"Kitty…" Peter mumbled.

"I've got an idea," Forge went up to them. "I'll show her around!" 

"Boys! Boys!" Willow grinned. "Let's all go together!" 

"Great idea!" Jamie piped up.

"You are not coming," Ray snapped.

"Try and stop me Pikachu Boy," Jamie snapped back. 

Soon Willow went out with a dazed Peter, a happy Jamie, and the squabbling Ray, Bobby, Roberto and Forge. This left Kurt and Sam standing there with their jaws still open from shock along with the remaining girls and Remy. Rogue still had his hand in a death grip. 

"Can you believe her?" Amara growled.

"What a piece of work," Rogue snarled.

"Chere…please leggo my hand…" Remy whimpered. "Remy thinks you're breaking it…" Rogue then let go and shoved him against the wall before storming off. "Ow…Ow…" Remy whimpered as he lay there. 

"Can you believe how immature those boys are being?" Amara snapped. 

"Yo! Kurt! Sam!" Tabitha waved a hand in front of their faces. "You two can breathe again!" 

"Sorry," Sam gulped. "We went away for a while. We're back now."

"MEN!" Tabitha groaned and stormed away. 

"What did we do?" Kurt asked.

"Let's just say you're lucky Amanda's not here," Amara snapped. 

************************************************************************

"Willow would you like some lemonade?" Jamie asked as he ran up to her later. "I squeezed it myself. No preservatives."

"Well thank you very much," Willow drank it and smiled. "It's very good."

"Hey Willow you want any cookies with that?" Ray asked.

"How about I make your drink colder?" Bobby asked. 

"I could order a pizza or something," Roberto asked. The boys were all surrounding her outside in the garden. 

"No, really I'm fine," Willow told them. "Are you sure you girls don't want any help?"

Several of the X-Girls were setting up a picnic table. "Oh no," Tabitha said sweetly. "Wouldn't want you to strain yourself. You're a guest here. If you need anything we'll get you it. Like a shirt perhaps?" 

"I could go for something," Fred remarked. He and some of the other Misfits were lounging around as well. 

"Then go get it yourself!" Rogue snapped. 

Lance walked by. "Hey Lance!" Willow waved. "I need to talk to you for a second! You don't mind if I steal him away for a minute do you?"

"Oh no," Kitty said, trying hard to melt Willow with her vision alone. "You take him." She fumed as they went off together in another direction. "You can take him and throw him off a cliff for all I care!" She snapped as they went out of hearing range.

"You better be careful Kitty," Tabitha said. 

"Yeah it looks like she's got her claws in Lance," Amara said. 

"Yeah but what beautiful claws," Bobby sighed. 

"Not to mention everything else she's got," Ray sighed. 

"If you boys are finished drooling can you give us a hand here?" Jean's tone was icy. 

"Excuse me," Kitty stormed off in the direction of Lance and Willow. 

"I think I'll take a walk too," Todd grinned as he hopped after her. 

"Yeah Toad give us a full report," Fred grinned. 

Meanwhile Lance and Willow were walking. "So what did you want to see me about Willow?" He asked. 

"Actually I really came to help you," Willow told him. 

"Help me?"

"I understand you're having a little trouble getting the girl of your dreams," Willow smiled. "So I thought it was time she had a reminder of how great a guy you are."

"Did Al and the others put you up to this?" Lance asked.

"Don't worry," Willow smiled. "I think they have the right idea. Besides, I'm happy to help out an old friend." 

Kitty couldn't hear what they were saying but she could see everything from her place in the bushes. "Why that little witch…" She growled.

"See anything interesting?" Todd asked as he hopped up to her.

"None of your business!" Kitty snapped at him.

"Look who's talking," Todd quipped. "They do make a cute couple don't they?" 

"A couple of what? Look at her! And how she's hanging on to him!" Kitty fumed.

"What's a matter Kitty?" Todd grinned. "Jealous?"

"I am not!" Kitty snapped at Todd. "I just can't believe the nerve of her! Thinking she can just parade around like that and have all the boys drooling over her! Just because she's a little bit…busty." 

"Kitty, Anna Nicole Smith is 'a little bit busty'," Todd pointed out. "She's got it going on!" 

"Who asked you?" Kitty snapped. 

"You just did," Todd pointed out.

"First she goes after Peter," Kitty grumbled. "Then she runs after Lance! What is it with that girl? She's such a tramp!" 

"Yeah the nerve of some girls dangling two or more guys at the same time," Todd quipped as he hopped away.

"Wait a minute!" Kitty went after him. "What do you mean by that crack?" 

"What crack?" Todd stopped and looked innocent. "I was merely making a casual observation."

"Yeah right!" Kitty snapped. 

"I can't help it if my innocent remarks play on your conscience," Todd snickered as he hopped away. 

"Hold on you slimy little creep!" Kitty ran after him. 

They ran into Logan and Hank. "What's going on?" Hank asked.

"Yeah why are all the girls around here acting so mad?" Logan asked.

"I take it you haven't seen Willow yet," Todd grinned.

"We haven't had the pleasure of the young ladies company if that's what you…" Hank started to say. Then he stopped. "Oh my stars and garters!" 

They saw Lance walking by in the distance with Willow. "Oh boy," Logan groaned. "I think I see the problem!" 

"It think we'd better talk to Charles about this," Hank did a quick about face. 

"He's not the only one we should talk to," Logan growled. Then a commotion behind them got his attention. "Now what?" 

The X-Men were shouting at each other. Actually it was all the girls screaming at the boys. "What is going on here?" Xavier asked as he, Mr. S and Mole appeared on the scene.

"These **boys** are so immature!" Jean snapped.

"Jean I was just being friendly," Scott protested.

"You didn't have to be **that** friendly!" Jean told him.

"All I did was ask if she needed anything," Scott told her. "It's not like I was trying to be her personal servant like these idiots!" He pointed to Bobby, Ray and Roberto. 

"Hey!" Ray snapped. 

"Oh yeah right!" Bobby told him.

"What is the problem here?" Xavier asked.

"Hello there," Willow walked in with Lance. "You must be Professor X." 

"Oh I see…" Xavier sighed. 

************************************************************************

"I can't believe that Mrs. S lady went so ballistic when the Professor suggested she put a top on!" Bobby groaned. Many of the kids were all outside. 

"Yeah well Mrs. S has always been a bit you know, feminist and everything," Mole explained. "Actually she's a bit of a fanatic. Trust me on this; don't ever get into an argument with her on women's issues. I still have the scars from the last time we 'disagreed' two years ago." 

"You planned this didn't you?" Jean snapped at the giggling Misfits. "The only reason you invited them here was to have Willow make all of us jealous!" 

"Actually we only wanted to make Kitty jealous," Pietro admitted. "But this is even better!" 

"WHAT?" Kitty yelled.

"Now you know what you put Lance and Peter through all the time," Pietro glared at her. "How do you like the taste of your own medicine Pryde? Bitter isn't it?" 

"I should have known that the real reason was for you guys to cause trouble!" Scott groaned. 

Willow walked up wearing one of Scott's shirts. "Thanks so much for the top sweetie," She giggled, kissing Scott on the cheek. 

"GET YOUR SLIMY HANDS OFF MY BOYFRIEND!" Jean roared. 

"Your boyfriend?" Willow looked at her. "Did he come with a bill of sale?"

"Okay now girls…" Scott gulped.

"Stay away from my man!" Jean stormed up to Willow. "Or else!" 

"Or what?" Willow growled. That's when Jean threw her telekinetically across the lawn. "Well if it's physical violence you desire…" 

That was when several blades of grass grew to huge lengths and wrapped themselves around Jean's legs. "Hey!" Jean yelled.

"Here's a tip!" Willow shouted. "Never get into a fight with a mutant whose powers are stronger than yours!" With a wave Jean was thrown to the ground and held there by the grass.

"Good advice!" Jean growled. "You should take it yourself!" She started to telekinetically throw some patio furniture at her. 

Willow managed to call up some roots to block the debris. "Okay now I am angry!" Willow growled. "And I feel like expressing my anger!" 

"So do I!" Jean shouted as she broke free. "AND TAKE OFF MY BOYFRIEND'S SHIRT!" 

"YEAH DO IT!" Ray cheered.

"That's it! You are so getting your butt kicked," Amara growled as she fired up and started to attack Ray. Soon nearly all the X-Girls were chasing around the X-Guys.

Kitty of course was furious. "I can't believe the two of you! Lance how dare you use me like that!"

"But…" Lance protested.

"And you Peter! You were just as bad as the others!" Kitty roared. "I am so angry at the both of you!" 

"But…" Peter gulped.

"AGGHHH!" Kitty screamed and stormed off.

"Kitty…" Both boys whined and followed her. 

"Eat leaves you witch!" Willow managed to sway a tree branch full of leaves into Jean's face.

"DIE EARTH GIRL!" Jean growled as she telekinetically threw a statue at her. 

"Is it always like this?" Mole asked Hank. 

"I'm afraid so," Hank sighed. He then saw Logan. "What happened to you?" 

"Mrs. S has just taken off her top," Logan stated as he stumbled towards them. "Don't go up there. Trust me on this." He looked at the sight. "Oh man…I can't deal with this today!" 

"I don't think any of us can deal with this," Hank winced as Ray let out a scream.

"Do you have any um…alcoholic beverages?" Mole asked.

"Right this way," Logan told him as they went into the kitchen. 

"Well this was fun," Todd grinned. 

"Let's see," Pietro looked around. "We've ticked Kitty off. Gotten Lance and Peter in the doghouse as well as nearly all the guys in the X-Geeks, managed to have Xavier flashed by an aging feminist…"

"Not to mention driving Jean nuts," Althea grinned. "I'd say this was a successful trip wouldn't you?" 

"Yeah it'll be a great home video," Fred laughed as he videotaped the entire thing. 

**Coming soon! The conclusion of this fic! Will Kitty ever decide? Don't hold your breath! **


	10. We're Not Gonna Settle This Are We?

**We're Not Gonna Settle This Are We?**

"Wow look at all the flowers I got," Kitty took a sniff of a bouquet of roses on her nightstand. Then she smelled another bouquet of carnations.

"I thought you said you didn't want any more flowers?" Rogue folded her arms.

"Well…I mean in moderation," Kitty admitted. "Both Lance and Peter are really sweet aren't they?" 

"Oh just adorable," Rogue growled and turned on her heels. She walked out of the room and down the hallway. 

"Hey Chere," Remy walked up to her. "What's going on?"

"I'll tell you what's going on," Rogue whirled on him. "Nothing! Nada! Zip!"

"O-kay," Remy said hesitantly. 

"But Jean…" Scott pleaded as he and Jean were walking from the opposite direction. 

"But nothing Scott!" Jean snapped. "You know Lance and Peter may be idiots but at least they know how to treat a girl! Which is more than I can say for you!"

"Amen to that," Rogue snapped. 

"What does that mean?" Remy asked.

"It means that a gal don't like being taken for granted," Rogue snapped. 

"Hey Kitty!" Tabitha yelled from down the hall. "You got more presents in the kitchen! Get your butt down there and get them already!" 

"What? She got even more stuff?" Rogue asked her.

"Yeah," Tabitha walked up to them. "What is this? 'Everybody Loves Kitty Week'?" 

"Now what did she get?" Jean asked annoyed. 

"Lance dropped off some chocolates," Tabitha told them. "So of course Peter decides to make her some cookies and get this, he put them in this nice bag and attached a card and a poem to her!" 

"Oh for crying out loud is that what this is all about?" Remy groaned. "Girls you jealous cause Kitty's getting all this stuff?" 

"That's ridiculous," Scott asked. 

"Oh really?" Jean raised an eyebrow. "Scott refresh my memory, what day is it?" 

"Um I dunno, the 12th?" Scott scratched his head. 

"Uh huh," Jean folded her arms. 

"What's so important about today?" Scott asked. "I know it's not your birthday or something."

"Well obviously it isn't as important to you as it is to me," Jean snapped.

"Hey look, not all of us can read minds!" Scott defended. "What did I forget?"

"Scott we've been going out for six months," She told him. "As of today."

"You forgot your anniversary?" Remy whistled. "Boy you in trouble."

"Oh really?" Rogue asked. "And just how long have we been going out?"

"Uh…" Remy blinked. "It's kind of hard to tell, I mean…."

"NEVER MIND!" Rogue stormed away.

"Face it Rogue, not all guys are as romantic as Peter or Lance," Tabitha said following her.

"You got that right!" Jean went with them.

Remy let out a low whistle. "Man Remy never see those girls get this upset at us!" 

"Yeah," Scott growled. "Okay, this time things have gotten way out of hand!"

************************************************************************

A few hours later Lance had materialized back at the mansion. He and Peter were squaring off in the kitchen. "HOW DARE YOU CRUSH MY COOKIES?" Peter growled.

"ME? YOU THREW MY CHOCOLATES IN THE TRASH!" Lance shouted. 

"I WAS JUST PUTTING YOUR GIFT WHERE IT BELONGS!" Peter snarled.

"OKAY THAT'S…" Lance started to get ready to fight when he noticed something behind Peter. "What the…?"

Peter looked behind him. All the boy from the X-men were there glaring at them as well as Todd and Pietro. "We need to talk," Scott said matter of factly. 

The next thing Peter and Lance knew they were thrown outside on the backyard lawn. "What's going on?" Peter asked as the boys ganged up on them.

"I'll tell you what's going on," Ray said. "We've all had it with the two of you!" 

"Yeah it's bad enough that your little feud has done nothing but brought chaos to the mansion," Kurt told them. 

"What's even worse is that you two are making the rest of us look bad!" Todd snapped.

"He's right!" Scott snapped. "Now all our girlfriends are complaining!" 

"Oh boys why can't you be more like Lance and Peter?" Sam mocked in a high voice. "All your stupid gifts are making all our girls jealous!" 

"Yeah and when they get unhappy we suffer!" Todd snapped. "Even Al's ticked off. And she ain't exactly high maintenance!"

"That's a matter of opinion," Kurt said. "But Toad does have a point! Even Amanda's heard about this by now and is starting to get annoyed with me!" 

"When Gambit started giving you advice, he did not figure on you stealing the spotlight!" Remy snapped at Peter. "Or sending Remy to the doghouse!" 

"Lance you are seriously cramping my style!" Pietro snapped. 

"BUT IT'S HIS FAULT!" Both Lance and Peter pointed at each other and shouted.

"My fault?" Lance shouted at Peter.

"We'll it's not mine!" Peter snapped. 

"No way!"

"Yes way!" 

"What is going on here?" Kitty ran out.

"Kitty you have got to choose between these two morons once and for all!" Scott ordered her. "I don't care how you do it! Just do it! That's an order!" 

"Way to go Scott," Jean walked out with all the X-Girls. "There's an intelligent solution!" 

"Well we have to do something!" Bobby yelled.

"This is Kitty's decision ya yahoo!" Rogue snapped. Soon all the girls were arguing with most of the boys. 

"Kitty there's an easy way to solve this problem," Lance pointed at Peter. "Dump him!"

"ME?" Peter snarled. "It's you she should dump!" 

"Are you out of your mind?" Lance snapped. "You're the one who should go!"

"Make me!" Peter roared.

"I should dump **the both** of you!" Kitty yelled. She gave off a scream of frustration and stomped into the house. 

"Kitty…" Lance whined.

"Don't go…" Peter whimpered. 

Then the two boys glared at each other. "THIS IS YOUR FAULT!" Both Lance and Peter yelled at each other. Soon they were starting to punch each other around again. 

Kurt and Todd, the only two not fighting anyone watched the scene unfold. "I don't believe this," Todd groaned. "Now what do we do?" 

"I say we kill them," Kurt said evenly. "Slowly and painfully." 

"We don't have to," Todd remarked as Lance and Peter rolled around on the ground. "They'll do it themselves sooner or later." 

Meanwhile all the adults of both the X-Men and the Misfits watched from the balcony above the insane happenings of their students. "And so the eternal love triangle continues," Hank sighed. "Much to the dismay of everyone around them." 

"I don't know what went wrong," Xavier moaned. "Creating the X-Men was such a good idea at the time. What went wrong?"

"You want the short list or the long?" Logan groaned. 

"Now what do we do?" Cover Girl asked.

"How about we hit the bars and leave the kids behind for the night?" Low Light suggested as something exploded. 

"Works for me," Ororo agreed. 


End file.
